Friday, December 18, 2009

so close I can't stand it...

So my first ultrasound is in less than four days. I'm sooo excited! I can't wait to start buying stuff for the baby. I was really worried about having a girl...because I want a boy so it would make perfect sense that I would have a girl, but I saw pictures of a friend's sister's one year-old little girl and she is absolutely adorable. I've decided I'll be very happy with either boy or girl.

I'm definately starting to show. Well at least I'm definately starting to look significantly fatter. Absolutely no flat belly for me at this point. I am fairly confident that I'll be able to get back to where I was pre-baby, but I'm hoping for a bit smaller than that. I'll have to make a plan.

On Saturday I'll officially be in the middle of my pregnancy, four and a half months or in baby speak 18 weeks. Hmm...I think my baby looks like this, but probably a little browner with more hair:

I think that I've finally gotten used to the fact that I am having a baby. I kind of, sort of, not really, it's complicated want to do my usual thing: planning. It's been a hard adjustment, but I really think this whole thing is an adventure. I'm hoping that kemp will catch on. But I've got lots of things to do in the next few weeks. I want to make a birth plan... There are lots of good examples online, like this site: or this one I'm not really looking forward to doing this so much, but it's a very important part of the whole planning thing. Especially in the area where I live, I'm very opinionated and I want things done my way during the birth of my child, and here people just let the hospital and doctors do whatever because they don't research things. I also have to sign up for birthing classes and make a list of things I need for the baby and start to plan my baby shower and maybe plan a mini baby moon and decorate the nursery and the list goes on forever. I need to make a list that lists all the lists I need to make.

It all sounds like a lot, but I'm really excited that I'm starting to let myself be really happy about everything. It's been an interesting 3 and half months.

I just have to remember that just because I'm having a baby doesn't mean my life will be ordinary. I've been scared for a long time that my life was going to be ordinary. I think that is why I've been so scared of marriage and moving home and just all of that. My life isn't ordinary. Now I just have to work on kemp.

Monday, December 7, 2009

the 2nd trimester

I'm officially in the middle of my pregnacy (wow, it still feels weird writing that!). I'm feeling much better in every way. I'm still incredibly scared of the responsibility of raising a child, but I'm getting there.

I just visited an old friend that I haven't really spent time with in a while. She has two great boys and that definately made me much more confident in my parenting abilities. She had her first when she was 17. If she can raise two kids like that so young, I know that I can too.

I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time on November 13. Kemp and I went to my last Dr. appt. and recorded the heartbeat. It is really crazy. Most of the time it is very surreal that I have a baby chilling inside of me, but when you hear the heartbeat it makes it very real. My first ultrasound is on Dec. 22 and I'm so excited to actually see the baby. And maybe to find out the gender....go boy! We'll see...