Jack's Nursery...

Jack will be 11 months old this month and yet his nursery is yet to be fully decorated.  I know, I'm a horrible mother.  But to my credit...he doesn't sleep in there anyway.  Hmm...not sure if that is a good or bad thing, but maybe he's patiently waiting to move in when it is finished.

Although it isn't completed, it is partially decorated.  All that is missing are some pictures/art on the walls.  I just need to paint some frames white and finish a canvas (hopefully with a quote).  I have all the tools, just not the time.  Oh only two weeks until I'm done with school for the Summer, then three months of QT with Jack and some serious house projects.  Anywhoo...here are some pictures of his semi-finished nursery.

The bench my mom fixed up is so cute beside the tree.

You can totally see the palace guard in this picture.  My fav part of the tree is the floating leaves.

He loves it...

Gotta love the little heart detail Lindsay drew, it says "K + T = J."

I love the tree so much.  It totally makes the nursery.  We painted the room around the tree it is a soft sand color, and is super neutral.  I didn't want Jack's room to be overly boy.  I think it could work for a boy or a girl.  The room has come together.  I just kind of gathered accessories that I already had.  I happened to have a really cute lamp that has leaves on it and has a very organic feel to it.  We also found the bench in the attic (I talked about it in this First Nursery Post), my mom stained it and Jack loves it.  I also think it will make a great prop for pictures if I can ever remember to buy batteries for my camera.  That attic is seriously a treasure trove.  There is also a super cute kid-sized red rocking chair (which I may or may not re-paint) and a school desk waiting for Jack to grow into them.

Realistically the mural may be a pain in the butt later, depending on how long we take up residence on Smith St., to repaint (and very sad too).  Hopefully the whimsical tree can be worked into whatever other theme Jack decides, for at least a few years.  I was thinking some England-ish accessories to big-boy it up...I already have a double decker bus and a black cab little cars on display, a stuffed bear version of a Buckingham palace guard and an English tea tin with some flowers in it (from the his baby shower)...not to mention the other English/British stuff I have around from my study abroad adventure.  I'm glad I went with this "theme," it's totally workable.

And once again, THANKS Lindsay.  That tree is just amazing.

Good times ahead?

Me: Don't eat leaves.
Jack:  Eh, they might taste good, you don' t know.

I'm often reminded that I'm a control freak.  Kemper reminds me, in that wonderful way he does, by ignoring my exhausting list of reminders or tips about Jack and the house and whatever I'm fixated on at the moment.  When I got pregnant, I worried, a lot.  I worried about what I ate, how much I ate, the weight I gained and what environmental factors I could and could not control and what exactly they would do to the fetus (or Jack around month 5).

And now that I have a 10 and half month old, my urges definitely ebb and flow.  When Jack first came home I was frustrated.  I tracked every nurse session, poopy diaper, pee diaper, waking time and sleeping time.  Some of it was out of necessity (the nursing and diapers), but mostly it was for the control.  I was told Jack should eat every 2-3 hours.  Ha.  Jack screamed for the first three weeks of his life because of this.  He.did.not.like.imposed.schedules.  He wanted to eat every hour, which meant I started to feed him at 1pm, finished at 1:45, and began again at 2pm.  This lasted forever...or maybe not forever, but it certainly felt like it.  Once I started to feed him whenever he liked for a few weeks, he chilled, and moved on to the better things in life like learning to like belly time and standing while held.

Control issues, as I have learned in my psychopathology class, are mainly linked to fear and insecurity.  I think that's pretty accurate.  I'm really trying to let go because controlling a ten month old is a joke.  As I'm sure controlling a toddler, a kid, a preteen, or a teenager will be.  So Jack is teaching me a lesson.  This is a lesson that I began to learn during my nine month therapy stint.  Through the ultimate behavior modification, parenting, I'm learning to try to let go.  I'm gritting my teeth and bearing it.  It's not always fun, and it's mostly frustrating.  Though I had the ultimate power (with my DNA helper) in creating Jack, I have very limited power in shaping the kind of person he'll be.  Most of that stuff he ironically got from me.  So next up is Jack the control freak...

Toddler style- Wedding version

My friend CK is getting married in October...Here's hoping Jack can look a little hippy and a tad dashing, toddler style next to his bridesmaid mom...

Jackson's wedding outfit by grassfairytris on Polyvore.com

Where Jack's At...March edition

Four days short of ten months!  Wow his first birthday is almost two months away...I'll get working on his Amazon Wishlist...hehe..

Crawling and cruising (walking using furniture or whatever is around).

Playing patty cake.

Singing ba ba along with any song.

Saying da da again (his first words were ma ma, then ba ba, then da da, but lately it's been all ba ba all the time).

Walking with help, sometimes from me, sometimes from various articles of my clothing.

Torturing his fur bro, papi, and fur sis, shady.

Dancing...pretty much bouncing up and down to the beat.

Napping semi-alone sometimes, in the tempurpedic, of course.

Eating, lots and lots, of solid food.  His fav at the moment are quesadillas.

Loving all things electronic...remotes, keyboards, kemp's headphones, the xbox, smart phones.

He's still wearing 2T...and 18 mo. bottoms.  Still a big boy, but chilling a bit on the extreme growing.

Loving swinging/strolling at the park.

Being generally adorable...kid is seriously getting cuter everyday.

Jack walking at Nana's.

What?

I really suck at this.

And once again far too much time has gone by since I blogged last.  It's not exactly my first priority.  Blogging is somewhere between organizing my kitchen cabinets (I NEED to do this, I can't reach half of the things I use on a daily basis) and decorating Jack's room (Seriously, this may happen before he moves into his room...sometime before he's 10).  Yeah, so important, something I wish that I could do more often, and apparently not happening.  Ah loving the stay at home, full time school, holly housewife life...

Anyway I wanna try to do a bi-weekly post of Where Jack's At...you know what he's doing these days.  These will normally contain pictures.  I will do a picture only Where Jack's At sometime this weekend, but I hope they will normally include pics.

Because it's funny...

Can you see the fear in my eyes?

Just thought I would post this picture of me...it's literally hours before Jack came into the world, or more accurately was pulled out...

Jack is on the move. Officially.

Jack is crawling.  Everywhere.  Quickly.

He also enjoys pulling up on things.  Lots of things.  And most of them are not safe.

Photos and videos to follow.

Jack's rain boots...

If wishing makes it so then spring is definitely on its way! I'm so excited for gardening with my Jack-O-Lantern.... He'll most definitely need rain boots and a new spring wardrobe...

Spring Jackson by grassfairytris on Polyvore.com

Gund Teddy Bears - Large Philbin Gund Teddy Bear - Cream
23 GBP - bigfatballoons.co.uk

Gap Rain jacket
$35 - gap.com

Old Navy Baby Medium Wash Vintage Wash Jeans
$17 - oldnavy.gap.com

Old Navy Rainboots for Baby
$15 - oldnavy.gap.com

Old Navy Canvas Slip-On Sneakers for Baby
$13 - oldnavy.gap.com

Waffle knit hoodie | Gap
$25 - gap.com

Gap 2-in-1 Junk Food Hero T
$23 - gap.com

Pocket T | Gap
$2.95 - gap.com

Gap BOY skus (NEW thread!) - Page 5 - GymboFriends Gymboree Discussion...
gymbofriends.com

Tut, Tut, Looks Like Rain.
easyandelegantlife.com

oh how i've missed you....

So I know it's been a long, long time since I posted.  I was right...all things neglected except one not so very small boy and grad school.  Trust me, literally everything else has been left as is, including unfortunately my house and my pseudo-"housewife" duties.  Ha to that anyway.  Per request...shout out to Meg...I'm gonna try to be better about updating and letting everyone know what's going on in babyland....  I will even go back in time a bit and try to do some posts that I should have completed about a year ago.  I know I'm late for everything, but I read enough blogs that I should be writing at least one.  So Jack and online lectures can take a back burner for a few minutes every couple of days while I update all my peeps that care on life as I know it.

Life with Jack

Jack in the tub.

Life post-pregnancy isn't that different than life pregnant.  Sort of.  Jack gives me personal space, when he naps.  But he is still very much tethered to me because of breastfeeding, which is going waaay better than I could have imagined after a bit of trouble in the beginning.

  My life is very baby centered and quite relaxed, actuallly.  I don't get a lot of sleep at night, but I don't have anywhere to go during the day so that's ok.  I am starting to get confident in my mothering abilities.  So we are starting to venture out into the world more.  This blog title seems a bit odd...but it'll have to do for now.  I'll try to   do a bit of a late pregnancy commentary with pictures because there at the end I mostly wanted to burrow in my bed until Jack came...and I did that.  I'll try to post pics and videos of Jack growing...he's almost 2 months!  He is huge.  But for now I must go because Jack is waking up for a nap and hungry I'm sure.

the pre-baby blues

The baby shower is over.  My first and last trip whilst pregnant is over and done or better yet survived.  Now all that is left is the nesting and the waiting.

I think this will prove itself to be the hardest part.  Really.  The last nine months have seriously flown bye.  Granted major change in my life has begun to be the norm, I am still a Taurus and I do.not.like.it.  I am however, very excited for the change of baby outside, not inside a little bit of personal space and the like.  Though I'm not looking forward to all of the gross post-baby things either.  You know such as:  contractions, labor, birthing, placenta, goo covered bebe, breast feeding, whatever lochia is, etc.  Then there is the wonder that is parenthood...no sleep-I'm assuming what feels like being very drunk without the presence of alcohol, crying bebe, squirming bebe, pooping bebe, etc.

And I'm sure that there is plenty of beauty in motherhood, but unfortunately I have no close friends that can assure me of this.  Guess I'm on my own.  So for the next 2-6 weeks all I have left are doctor appointments, a huge unruly belly, and my own dark over-analyzing thoughts.  Oh yeah my birthday is next week.  Yay for 25...

Nursery in waiting

The nursery is definitely on it's way to being finished.  I've got the majority of necessary things for small people and by the way that is a lot of stuff for something that currently fits inside of me!  This is mostly thanks to Heather & Connor.  Kemp painted the room a few weeks ago...we ended up choosing something very neutral.  It's so neutral it was called "sand."  And my super awesome creative friend is going to come and paint an amazing tree on the wall when school is out.  I'm very excited about what she is going to do.  Here is the room so far....

Cute crib...lots of stuff in it.

Not so great picture of the car seat, stroller, swing and rocker (my mom has had it since I was a baby).  And the walls look nice (thanks to Kemp)!

Awesome bench!  I might try to use it for a bookshelf until Jack is big enough to actually sit in it.  It should go well under the tree.

My mom also helped organize the closet.  It is now baby closet/linen closet and one of the most organized things in my entire house.  I wanted to choose a really cool quote to go on the wall, but I think that I might just buy a canvas and paint one on that.  I recently discovered a good Dr. Seuss one:  "You have brains in your head.  You have feet in your shoes.  You can steer yourself any direction that you choose."  If anyone else has any suggestions I'm definitely open to them.

I only have six weeks and the nursery is still a work in progress, but hopefully I still have time!

Six weeks and counting....

I'm more than halfway through my 34th week of pregnancy and that is crazy.  My belly is huge and it is getting very difficult for me to maneuver myself down my hallway, around stores, out of my bed, etc.  My belly button is also on it's way to being unrecognizable.

This is me at 29 weeks....doesn't seem long ago.  Also I have my awesome Old Navy preggo jeans on.

This is Jack and I currently at 34.5 weeks.  It doesn't look all that different, but I assure you carrying around this child has become a very large endeavor.

I have not been that great with taking pictures.  I don't exactly feel all that attractive and posing for pictures has never been my thing.  I'm usually at my best in pictures when I'm highly intoxicated, of which I can not be for approximately 2.5 more months if everything goes to plan.

I bought my first baby clothing today.  We bought something that Jack might wear home.  Not sure how appropriate it is for such things, but if you only knew how hard it is to purchase cute boy clothing.  In fact at Old Navy there is so little boy clothing in general that the girl section is leaking into the boy section hard core. But we did buy this wonderful bebe hawk outfit today:

The cute outfit on the awesome tiny bench we found in the attic that my mom stained to match the crib and armoire...and it's soooo close that you can hardly tell the difference between the bench and the crib behind it. Marge and my mom need to bond over the awesome wood staining-ness.

Ultimate in hawkness.  I'm sure Missy would be proud.

The baby shower is this weekend and I guess I'm excited.  The gayness of the whole thing is a bit overwhelming, but I'll be glad to see some old friends and get some cute baby stuff...oh yeah and the cakes and cookies will be delicious.  

pregnancy + the technology age = me stressed

We google everything these days.  In fact the first thing that is said in my house if we don't know the answer to a question is "google it."

But unfortunately the ability to have so much information a laptop away is making me a little crazy.  I'm obviously a first-time mom, but I do have a good bit of experience with babies having been a nanny on and off for about two years.  The only thing about being a nanny is I really didn't have to make any real decisions about childcare. Diapers, cremes, shampoos, clothing...all these things magically appeared.  What I was supposed to feed the children in my care was in the pantry and there was usually detailed instructions either written down or given to me directly by the parent.  Now all of those minute details are my decisions.  And did you know that half of baby soaps and lotions have toxic chemicals in them?  At least according to this study, http://safecosmetics.org/article.php?id=414.  But if you keep reading, everything, and I mean absolutely everything is harmful to children.

It is stressful.  Most things leech toxic chemicals.  It's bad to use baby powder.  It's bad to use anything with fragrance.  I'm not sure how anyone in my generation or any of the ones before made it to adulthood.  In fact it is a miracle that we have all lived this long.

I've got a few things figured out.  Breastfeeding is definitely in.  Cloth diapers, for now at least, are out.  I'm using Aveeno baby lotion and soap.  It's mostly natural.  The baby room is being painted with low VOC paint.  I'm trying, I'm sure like most new parents.  You pick and choose what you can do.  It's much like choosing what we can do to protect the environment.

I'll do what you can and hope everything else falls into place.  I'll do my best to make sure baby Jack is as happy and healthy as I can make him.

Alternatives...

Currently I'm sitting on an exercise ball, that may or may not double as a birthing ball in the next three months.  I also had a strange impulse to youtube birthing videos while watching The Office.  I definately didn't not find what I thought I would.  I've been watching lots of home/water births.  And I also saw this: Orgasms during birth.  Orgasms during birth?  These people have to be kidding.  But it's made me want to do a little more research on alternatives to being highly medicated and not experiencing labor.

I have to come up with my "birth plan" in the next few weeks.  For all those that are unfamiliar with more of this baby jargon a birth plan is just making a "tentative" plan on how I'd like Jackson's birth to be, but it's just a plan and you have to be ready for adjustments to the plan depending on the baby, the birth, and the situation.  I was planning on trying to labor for as long as I could before having the epidural and now I am sort of, kind of, considering delaying it unless I can't handle the pain.  But I'm sure as most of you guys know I'm whiny and fairly weak.  I'm not sure how long I could really go, but all this depends on the pain.  The good thing about this little stint is that I think I'm gonna make a trip to the library and research this whole birthing thing.

I'm feeling very squashed.  I think that Jackson has lodged himself into my right side as my ribcage feels like it is expanding on one side and it really hurts.  I also feel him thumping around under my right breast and down on the bottom of my belly.  I was talking to my mom and she said that I was a permanent fixture in that area.  I'm not sure how much I'm looking forward to the next few months.  I guess I should plan on being a lot more squashed.  I just hope that I can breathe.

24 weeks

Well I'll only really be working for a couple more weeks, mostly 9 more days (yes, I'm counting down).  I'm fairly sure that the place I'm working is replacing me (or as they say phasing my position out and getting a more "technically savvy" person) because I'm preggo.  Never knew the world was so prejudiced against the preggo population.  I'm learning new things everyday.  But since I don't exactly like the job and being with out it is definately do-able for Kemp and I, I'm not complaining.

This time off should help me get everything together...  The nursery is coming together for sure.  Mom came down last weekend to "help"/do everything.  We moved all of the stuff out of the guest bedroom.  Mom wiped all the walls down, we washed, folded, organized and put away all the baby clothes Connor donated to Jack.  Jackson should definately be well clothed for at least 0-3 months.  So, please refrain from buying that range.  Go for 6 months+.  With my luck that child may be in 6 months way sooner than expected!  He is Kemp's son.

Most of this on the couch we kept, less a bag and a half.  Even still Jackson probably has about 20 tiny onesies, 20 medium tiny onesies and 20 3-6 month onesies.  Plus tons of little random outfits, hats, bibs and lots of socks.  Quite a bit of clothes for someone that isn't even fully developed yet.  But for someone that is so tiny (around a foot long and 1.5 lb) he has does have a mean kick/elbow.

I've been feeling him move around and kick/elbow like crazy lately.  He tends to be really active when I'm hungry.  I think my stomach growling annoys him a bit.  Unfortunately when my mom was here he refused to move.  Maybe he's saving his "maw maw" time for when he's out.  And yes my mother is thinking about being called "maw maw" which makes her sound like an 80 year-old woman.  I'm working on alternatives.

We also got to have a pregnancy photo shoot...it was awesome.  Oh that's right...I mostly just look fat, but there were a few that were ok looking.  Thanks to Tay the photographer and mom the shoot "organizer."

Super preggo looking at least.  This is about 24 weeks.

And I've decided that black and white is much more forgiving...and how cute are these tiny shoes?

That's all for now.  Hopefully in the next few days I'll post a couple of crib options, I'm considering about three.  I'm also working really hard on my registry!  

Babymania

5.5 months pregnant. Jackson is kicking now...where other human beings beside me can acknowledge his existence. I'm also past the halfway mark, so my mind has been on the nursery, the registry, pediatricians, etc. Gotta get in gear. But I have been lusting over some pretty awesome stuff for the nursery....I found this adorable bedding set at www.target.com.

It works pretty awesomely with what I think will be the nursery's color scheme.  I think we are gonna go with a warm, neutral cream color for the walls.  If all goes well a friend of mine is going to paint a tree on the wall that will be chocolate.  And I want green and blue accents.  So this bedding set goes perfectly with that.  I love the animals and the trees on it!  Hopefully baby Jack will get smarter just by sleeping on ABC's and 123's.  And the best thing is it is super affordable.    It is by Circo and they have tons of mix and match little sets like this.  I love it.  So much better than other beddiing sets I have looked at which were between $150-200.  This one is about $50 for the quilt, sheets, and bumper.

I'm having some pretty big issues with picking out a crib though.  I hate making decisions involving furniture, especially super expensive $200 furniture.  The room the nursery is in is kinda small too so there will have to be some creative thought put into how we  are going to all of the baby's stuff in there.

I'm kinda focused on the tree in the room though.  I had a long conversation with a very creative friend of mine.  I picked out a ton of trees that I liked.  This is my favorite:

I showed her this one and some others.  She's such a great artist, I just told her to do whatever she thinks will look good.  She really did like this one though.  I'm really excited about the tree.  We are also going to put some birdies, an owl and maybe a bunny near the bottom.  Ya know...so Lola can watch over Jack.  I can't wait to see what she comes up with.

The nursery is slowly coming together.  I still have a super long list of things to do before I'm anywhere near ready for the baby to be out in the world.

I do wish that I could currently be a bit more fashionable in all my preggo-ness, but I'm taking what I can get now.  The addition of black and gray leggings is helping.  And my mom got me brown, black, and gray tights for Christmas.  Hopefully all these things will help expand my wardrobe, especially since I'm job hunting again!

And the answer is....

  We've done it.  Everyone wants one and we have one. Goodbye penis envy!  I officially have a penis.  Now it's not technically my penis per se, but I do have one or at least the little person inside of me has one.  So we have a Jackson Wayne Maxwell officially!

On the ultrasound, the one on the right side, you can see his leg, his little baby booty and obviously also his penis (it's the line in the middle of the three lines).  So we are very excited, we told my mom and sister whilst grinning ear to ear.  The whole ultrasound experience was very fun and anxiety provoking, for me at least.  I was very nervous.  But the ultrasound technician, a very fast talking woman, assured me that he was right on schedule.  His measurements were great and he weighs 9 ounces or at least he did on December 22.

Yes I have an adorable child.  I have also decided that I can definitely feel him moving.  Though I have heard it described as feeling like "popcorn" or "butterflies fluttering," yeah not my Jackson.  I feel sharp little kicks...possibly to my internal organs.  I thought they were just random pains, but random pains tend to not be rhythmic little stabs.  So I guess Jack already likes to annoy Mom.  He did wave at us in the ultrasound which was very cute, he's already outgoing.  He still looks a bit like an alien, but he isn't fully baked in the oven yet.

I'm 20 weeks tomorrow or five months.  I've got the crazy dark line down my belly.  I've made a baby list and a budget.  Life and planning are beginning to come together.  I'm very excited about 2010, Jackson and our new family.

I'm seriously thinking about writing a book about pregnancy, but it might end our species.

so close I can't stand it...

So my first ultrasound is in less than four days. I'm sooo excited! I can't wait to start buying stuff for the baby. I was really worried about having a girl...because I want a boy so it would make perfect sense that I would have a girl, but I saw pictures of a friend's sister's one year-old little girl and she is absolutely adorable. I've decided I'll be very happy with either boy or girl.

I'm definately starting to show. Well at least I'm definately starting to look significantly fatter. Absolutely no flat belly for me at this point. I am fairly confident that I'll be able to get back to where I was pre-baby, but I'm hoping for a bit smaller than that. I'll have to make a plan.

On Saturday I'll officially be in the middle of my pregnancy, four and a half months or in baby speak 18 weeks. Hmm...I think my baby looks like this, but probably a little browner with more hair:

I think that I've finally gotten used to the fact that I am having a baby. I kind of, sort of, not really, it's complicated want to do my usual thing: planning. It's been a hard adjustment, but I really think this whole thing is an adventure. I'm hoping that kemp will catch on. But I've got lots of things to do in the next few weeks. I want to make a birth plan... There are lots of good examples online, like this site: http://www.childbirth.org/articles/birthplans.html or this one http://www.justmommies.com/quizzes/birthplan.php. I'm not really looking forward to doing this so much, but it's a very important part of the whole planning thing. Especially in the area where I live, I'm very opinionated and I want things done my way during the birth of my child, and here people just let the hospital and doctors do whatever because they don't research things. I also have to sign up for birthing classes and make a list of things I need for the baby and start to plan my baby shower and maybe plan a mini baby moon and decorate the nursery and the list goes on forever. I need to make a list that lists all the lists I need to make.

It all sounds like a lot, but I'm really excited that I'm starting to let myself be really happy about everything. It's been an interesting 3 and half months.

I just have to remember that just because I'm having a baby doesn't mean my life will be ordinary. I've been scared for a long time that my life was going to be ordinary. I think that is why I've been so scared of marriage and moving home and just all of that. My life isn't ordinary. Now I just have to work on kemp.

the 2nd trimester

I'm officially in the middle of my pregnacy (wow, it still feels weird writing that!). I'm feeling much better in every way. I'm still incredibly scared of the responsibility of raising a child, but I'm getting there.

I just visited an old friend that I haven't really spent time with in a while. She has two great boys and that definately made me much more confident in my parenting abilities. She had her first when she was 17. If she can raise two kids like that so young, I know that I can too.

I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time on November 13. Kemp and I went to my last Dr. appt. and recorded the heartbeat. It is really crazy. Most of the time it is very surreal that I have a baby chilling inside of me, but when you hear the heartbeat it makes it very real. My first ultrasound is on Dec. 22 and I'm so excited to actually see the baby. And maybe to find out the gender....go boy! We'll see...